I am not at Home ! There are some people I know who would consider me a couple of clowns short of circus because I am so set on going home. Yes I know, Your thinking what's so wrong with that. After all, wasn't it James Dobson who made Focus on the Family famous by saying "Home is where the Heart is". Or perhaps it was Hallmark? What a beautiful and fond statement. It conjures up thoughts like sitting around the dinner table with the family, or playing a long game of monopoly. Maybe you think of sitting in your lazy boy with a cup of coffee and a good book. Perhaps its preparing a meal knowing everyone will be home in about an hour and its your preparations that will enable everyone to relax and kick back after a long and hectic day. Whatever warmth that draws your attention home is reminiscent of a good fire crackling on a cold night. Life is wonderful when were all cozy at home. Home is such an important place. If the home is a functional one and a dedicated one, it will allow its members connectivity. From that connection members generate love and provide for one another safety, liberty, rest, and many more wonderful attributes. What more could we ask for? Well, this is where sometimes I feel like Bozo the clown. I seem to be the only one on stage and always hiding behind a mask. I must admit though that I have found there are others just as strange as I. I've been somewhat vocal lately and to my surprise the big ring is painted with smiles that would fool the best that the audience could afford. You see alot of us have experienced that great home setting that I mentioned earlier. We lived life on top of the world and rarely looked back. Contentment was our companion. What happened you ask, Why the funny face? Well the truth is I am no longer content with my home. What once was, is no longer. Let me see if I can put into words what changed. On June 20th. 2005, While my wife and I were in bed sleeping, a little after midnight we recieved a phone call from a neighbor who told us there are some men at our door, knocking. Dazed from the call I slumbered downstairs to see two men standing outside. One in an Air Force uniform and the other man dressed in black with a white collar. I immediately started to screem, I am not letting them in! But I knew I would eventually have to open the door and face the fact that my home would be invaded by some ugly news. Justin was a wonderful son and I was so proud of him when he joined the U.S.Air Force. Darlene and I flew to San Antonio, Texas for Christmas of 2003 to watch him graduate from basic training. What a young man he was turning out to be. We thought it was so cool when he opened the car door for his mother and answered to me, Yes Sir. Just a year and five months later, the worst nightmare that could possibly happen to a family, happened. A day after Fathers day Justin was riding his motorcycle off base in Cheyenne, Wyoming when a lady who was not paying attention and talking on her cell phone proceded through an intersection in which Justin had the right away. Minutes after the crash Justin went home to be with the Lord. You see, our cozy home has been left bare by tragedy. An intruder has robbed us dry and the wellspring stopped giving its substance. We have been told it gets better but don't you believe them! Sadness is showing through on our painted smiles and it is painfully difficult to reverse the frowns. Where do we go from here has been the thorn in our side since our home is no longer the same. The answer, ironically, is linked to our home. We are so grateful that this family was not only connected like no other but we fostered an eternal spring in our home which gives life beyond that which we can see in the natural. I wear Justin's Air Force identification tag around my neck every day just so something of Justin's is always close to me. The last line of the tag is most precious of all. It reads, CHRISTIAN. Truth be known, Justin is really home! And that home is now my focus and where my heart resides. Roy R. Souza In the third century, the church father Cyprian said, "Let us greet the day which assigns each of us to his own home, which snatches us from this place and sets us free from the snares of this world, and restores us to paradise and the kingdom. Anyone who has been in foreign lands longs to return to his own native land...... We regard paradise as our native land." Jesus said in John 14:2 "In my Father's house are many dwelling places, I am going to prepare a place for you."